UnKool Korner

Steph's Uncool Thing Of The Week

Hi. I'm Steph. My dad is forty-something and not at all cool. Here's some of the stuff I have to put up.

This is me, by the way ----------------->

The Latest - August 1998

Uncool by proxy. We had an Australian cricketer, Matt, staying with us for the summer. He's 24 years old, 6' 5" tall and very fit (he's a fast bowler for Western Australia). Quite cool I thought, until he committed the ultimate sin - he got "Spiceworld The Movie" from the video store. Even my dad is not this bad

The Uncool Past

Sunday 19th July 1998

Thank goodness. Things are back to normal - uncoolness has returned .......

. It's summer here. At least for one day. So my dad has got hold of these really uncool sunglasses. He's not the thinnest guy you ever saw and with these awful shades on he turns into a Frank Cannon lookalike. My dad - A QUINN MARTIN PRODUCTION. ROTFLOL. UnKool Faktor - 9/10.
Sunday 5th July 1998 - Special Entry -

There's something wrong with my dad. He hasn't done anything at all uncool for ages now. I'm getting worried that he's working up for something really big. Hmmm.
Sunday 8th Feb 1998

I made a big, big mistake. I went shopping with my dad to get some stuff for school. He saw a Spice Girls pencil case and picked it up. I nearly died.They Spice Girls are the the most uncool thing on the planet. I should have kept quiet. On purpose he started singing "Wannabbee" in the shop. Aaaargh. Thanks a lot - Fat Spice, Ugly Spice, Short Spice, Bad Hair Spice, Even Uglier Spice.
Sunday, February 1st 1998

My dad has got a 'Teach Yourself Klingon' tape in the car. He drives along yelling in Klingon. Hope we don't have to give any of my friends a lift.
Sunday,January 11th 1998

My dad takes me to Littlehampton, a tiny little greasespot on the south coast. There's just been a huge storm and it smells of dead stuff. A lot. You'll understand how bad it is when I tell you the coolest shop in town is Woolworths. Luckily didn't meet anyone I knew.
Sunday, December 13th 1997

It's Christmas shopping time. We want to get the new 'Rescue Rangers' video for a small person. My dad makes me go to the cash desk to pay for it. Everyone's looking at me like they think I'm far too old for cartoons - they all think it's for me. Major loss of cool.
Sunday, 30th November 1997

My dad doesn't understand why it's cool to leave your shoelaces undone.
Date Unknown

My dad went shopping in The Disney Shop in our local mall to buy some presents. He deliberately took hours over it and tried to make me hold an Eeyore cuddly toy. Yuck. I had to stick around 'cos I wanted two weeks advance pocket money to buy the new Hansen video. Anyway it was quite late so probably no-one saw me - I'd never live it down if they did.

Are your parents this bad? Tell me about it.